"I... Help..." No answer.
Pain. Loss. Lots of pain and lack of clarity. No one questions the
strangeness. No questions answered.
"Help." None arrives.
"Where...Where are they? When will they come...? Help...
Please...Dear God...Help me. Jesus...Don't abandon me in my hours of
need..."
Death. Alone. Silence in Stillness. Alone and Forgot.
Forgotten by the world. Abandoned by all who claimed to care. "When
will they come?" Never. That's what they always do — abandon
in the hours of need.
She broke in again. She invades matter the barrier. I barred the door, this time with a fan, some loose boxes filled with books, and my piano, and yet she still gets in. Her voice penetrates my sanctuary. Her angry, broken, fearful cries penetrate my mental walls. Her insecure questions. Her tremulous pleas. They never cease. Nor does she. They pierce my skull, my ears, my spirit central. They pierce through me. No end in sight. Only death will quell her might. My Death. Silence. Sleep.
Sleep. Sleep is my every desire, to sleep soundly, anywhere I might. Sleep eternal. Sleep everlasting, evermore, yet never more than an instant. "Can I? May I, please, sleep so soundly on my knees filled with such rancor broken tenderness that I dare not wake until the world is changed, my world, my broken space? While she pounds? While I tear? Perhaps, when father gets home...?" No. Not then. Then will only be more pain, more sadness, fear, and loss as something else is taken away.
She broke in again. She invades matter the barrier. I barred the door, this time with a fan, some loose boxes filled with books, and my piano, and yet she still gets in. Her voice penetrates my sanctuary. Her angry, broken, fearful cries penetrate my mental walls. Her insecure questions. Her tremulous pleas. They never cease. Nor does she. They pierce my skull, my ears, my spirit central. They pierce through me. No end in sight. Only death will quell her might. My Death. Silence. Sleep.
Sleep. Sleep is my every desire, to sleep soundly, anywhere I might. Sleep eternal. Sleep everlasting, evermore, yet never more than an instant. "Can I? May I, please, sleep so soundly on my knees filled with such rancor broken tenderness that I dare not wake until the world is changed, my world, my broken space? While she pounds? While I tear? Perhaps, when father gets home...?" No. Not then. Then will only be more pain, more sadness, fear, and loss as something else is taken away.
Another day, another moment, another plot against him and
all his dreams. Men tried to kill my daddy. Men tried to harm. Alone
he is, quiet, afraid. So is mother. They are both the same. Alone and
forgot. Forgotten like me, except for a swot. By word or deed, we
will all be not.
